You Don’t Have to Come From Wholeness to Build It

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Before Deland McCullough was the running backs coach for the Las Vegas Raiders and a mentor to dozens of elite athletes, he was a little boy named Jon. He was adopted at birth, renamed, and raised in a home fractured by poverty, abandonment, and instability.

His childhood was defined by volatility: frequent moves, absent guardians, and moments of fear no kid should have to navigate. What grounded him wasn’t safety, it was structure. Football gave him direction. Coaches gave him consistency. One day, he became that for someone else, not because he had a perfect model, but because he knew exactly what was missing and was determined to build better.

Among those coaches who offered him his first taste of consistency was Sherman Smith - a former NFL running back and McCullough’s own running backs coach at Miami University (Ohio). Smith mentored McCullough for nearly 20 years, unaware of the deeper bond they shared.

In 2017, at age 45, McCullough discovered through adoption records that Smith was, in fact, his biological father. “He always treated me and the other guys he coached with such a high level of respect,” McCullough said. “Being somebody they can count on—that’s more important than Super Bowls... the relationships that I have, they go way beyond.”

Now with four sons of his own and a long list of players he's mentored, McCullough shows up with the same clarity and care. Not because someone once modeled it for him, but because he decided to become what he never had.

His story teaches us you don’t need a pristine past to shape a powerful legacy. You need presence and the courage to become for others what no one was for you. Leadership can feel like being asked to play a song you never heard growing up – you're reading from blank sheets, improvising as you go. In that improvisation lies the chance to create something entirely your own.

McCullough didn’t become a transformational coach because he had everything figured out. He became one because he was willing to face what he never had and give it anyway. He didn’t grow up with a consistent father figure, but he became one. He didn’t always have safety, but he built it for his players. He didn’t come from wholeness, but he refused to let that stop him from offering stability, guidance, and care to the people who counted on him.

That’s the deeper truth of leadership: our past doesn’t disqualify us. It qualifies us when we choose to do something with it. We don’t need to come from legacy to leave one. We just need to decide where the cycle ends.

As leaders, executives, coaches and high performers, here are some questions for our reflection:

• Who in your life are you showing up for the way you once needed someone to?

• What patterns are you repeating out of habit, and which ones are you ready to rewrite?

• Are you leading from experience, or from healing?

• What would it look like to become the blueprint you never received?

The leaders who make the biggest difference aren’t always the ones who had the most—they're the ones who chose to give what they never got.

That choice can change everything. 

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