The Courage to Sit With Discomfort

For 10 seasons, Sandra Oh captivated audiences as Dr. Cristina Yang on Grey’s Anatomy—a fiercely brilliant, unapologetically ambitious character who redefined the portrayal of women on television.

The role brought her wealth, fame, privilege, and widespread admiration. But during a recent commencement speech at Dartmouth College, Oh offered a surprising truth: those ten years, though professionally successful, were also among the most difficult of her life.

“I got sick. Physically and mentally—I was past my limit,” she told the graduates with raw honesty. “And all the ways I had previously managed to muscle through discomfort simply weren’t working... You can’t ghost depression. Or outsource a panic attack.”

It’s a message that hits home for many of us leading in high-performance environments—where results are prized, expectations never pause, and the inner toll can be invisible.

Sandra Oh’s lesson? Don’t run from the discomfort. Learn to be and sit with it.

“Nothing has taught me more than being with discomfort. It can be our greatest learning opportunity. And it is also inevitable. It can help you develop an inner strength that will enable you to face the challenges life presents you with, without losing your values or your sense of self along the way.”

As we mark the halfway point of 2025, this is a message worth carrying forward. Maybe the year hasn't unfolded as planned. Maybe you've been blindsided by something out of your control. Maybe it’s a season of immense loss and grief. Maybe, despite the wins, you’re tired in ways success can’t solve—ways it can’t yet bring peace or nurturing, loving care to.

Whatever we might be going through or feeling is valid. Oh gracefully reminds us that being human is messy—yet also an act of bravery.

She also reminds us: the real work—the deep work—begins not when conditions change, but when we do.

“The more I wanted my external circumstances to change, the worse I felt. Things only started to stabilize when I looked inside. When I stopped trying to bend things to my will and stayed open to discomfort, a new thing came through… the version of myself that was more grounded, more resilient.”

Each of us has a unique opportunity in this moment, and the moments ahead, to look within. As leaders, we are often taught to power through. To fix, to solve, to press on. But this isn’t always what’s needed. Sometimes, we grow and evolve not by resisting discomfort, but by welcoming it as the teacher it is.

And sometimes we lead best—not just with vision or strength—but with kindness. Yes, kindness.

"The kindness I’m talking about encompasses courage, respect, and compassion," Oh expressed. "It helps us get out of bed in the morning, it helps us to lead. It’s the opposite of weakness—it’s the foundation for a lasting strength. And it’s really hard to be truly kind. To have kind thoughts towards yourself, or towards someone you don’t agree with. But it’s the seed that will grow into action, if you nurture it."

As we reflect on the first six months of this year, may we carry Oh’s words of wisdom as a compass to guide us forward:

Kindness is strength.
Uncertainty is a teacher.
Joy is necessary.

And as we enter the second half of this year, let's give ourselves permission to feel what we’d rather avoid.

We don’t need to have it all figured out—we just need the courage to sit with discomfort and keep coming home to ourselves, one breath, one act of grace, one moment of kindness at a time.

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